Big Gay Blog

Gay-Going Mainstream

I found this article entitled Is Hollywood ‘gay’ enough? read through it and found some interesting thoughts.  The article focuses on how mainstream gay shows are becoming especially with the show Modern Family that is currently running.

Modern Family is about a gay couple :Cameron and Mitchell and includes their adopted daughter Lilly.  Cameron and Mitchell are portrayed by Eric Stonestreet and Jesse Tyler Ferguson.  Ferguson, who plays Mitchell happens to be gay while his co-star Stonestreet (playing Cameron) is straight.  Ferguson and Stonestreet have a good working relationship regardless of their different sexual orientations.  The show appeals to viewers with its more comical look on life and focuses more on day-to-day happenings instead of nightly rendezvous.

I am a bit torn on how I feel about the gay culture going mainstream.  I feel that it should be done, don’t get me wrong.  However I do not want viewers to develop a skewed image of gay relationships.  I don’t want the term ‘gay’ to illicit thoughts of a three ring circus or cement homophobes ideas that gay individuals are promiscuous agents, unable to understand monogomy and bent on stealing their innocent sons and daughters.  I really feel that Modern Family has potential due to its clean focus on family life.  I feel that it is refreshing to see a show based about a gay couple that is not sex based.  Many newbie gays, fresh to the scene assume that gay people go out all the time, party and are frequently promiscuous which only strengthens the beliefs of those against the gay rights movement.

The article also touched on the fact that mainstream television has not yet gone into the topic of lesbians and transgendered individuals.  Which I would love to see happen soon, though I am a die-hard L Word fan, that is just the sort of show that might give us homo’s a bad name.  I think it would be fantastic if they could tame such a show down enough for mainstream TV (Omit the sex) because the characters are primarily lesbians and there also happens to be a transgender individual (moira/max) a lesbian identified man and straight allies.  Yet another point I enjoy about the L Word is their use of a variety of characters, plain speak: not everyone on that show is just white!

I feel that it is important to not only make homosexuality more mainstream but also incorporate other ethnicities.  This is imperative in making gay shows not only appealing to everyone but also more able to relate to.  If it is the goal to normalize gay and lesbian relationships via television, it is important to touch on a variety of aspects including family life and solid relationships to better endear LGBT individuals to viewers as well as make it apparent that different sexual orientations are indeed living, breathing, loving human beings like themselves.


Gaydar On The Web…

I have it in my head to do a fun sort of post about gaydar and checklists for figuring out sexual orientation.  However, in doing some research I came across this article and it was just too interesting…(and fucking wrong!) It would be horrible of me if I didn’t share…

MIT students develop ‘Gaydar’ software to out social networkers

September 23, 2009 | By Paul Ryan

Are you in complete control of your online identity – of the information that you willingly (and often unwittingly) reveal to the world via social networks and other online properties?

Everything you make available on the web is open to scrutiny, and sometimes this scrutiny can reveal more about you than you ever intended. We’ve heard of bosses using Facebook to spy on current and future employees. And then there’s the teen trauma of parents attempting to infiltrate their children’s digital entourage.

Now, two MIT students have developed software that uses an algorithm to analyse friendship associations on Facebook and predict whether users are gay.

The curious effort, dubbed ‘Project Gaydar’, began as an assignment for a class on ethics and law on the digital frontier. While it is impossible to test the veracity of every prediction, the students – and their lecturer – were amazed at how accurate the algorithm’s predictions were for males.

The software raises all sorts of questions about what the computers of today – and tomorrow – will be able to identify based on the seemingly innocuous set of personal data we share online.

With Google caching everything that hits the public web, we’re bound to find out soon enough.

*Site URL for verification:

We don’t need your fake support…

I would just like to know why people feel the need to be fake.

This post is regarding the Big Gay Issue of fake support.—-> Just imagine for a moment, that a major person in your life that you very much appreciate the support of.  ex: parents, sibling etc.  Shows their true colors and it is apparent that they are not totally comfortable with you being you.

Hypothetical story line based on actual experiences:

You come out to them (sorry, have to keep this on generic) and everything is fine and well, they still love you even if they don’t necessarily understand all the tiny details, but that’s ok…because they love you for who you are.  There is unconditional love and where there is unconditional love understanding can grow, right?

Hmmmmmmmmm No.

Apparently there is such a thing as fake support.  The words “unconditional love” seem to mean significantly less in the face of “polite” society.  Apparently, while you were just doing your own thing, it seems that you also stepped on peoples toes…  They don’t like it that you are so open and OUT.  On facebook saying remotely smushy things or talking about your significant other becomes a faux pas.  I mean, we can’t really have the same rights as heterosexual couples can we?  Our abnormalities might harm the development of small children (that one, I still don’t understand) or offend family members.  WE the homos, must keep things quiet, not rock the boat, not make things awkward.  The fake supporters still love us, we just tend to make them uncomfortable because of what OTHERS will think.


—>I had this experience and WOW was it a rude awakening…My (we will just say supporter) actually wrote to me, ill lay it out for you:

After saying something about having a fantastic girlfriend via fb status, I received this message.

**Supporter: Elisabeth I wish you would confine your references to your sexual orientation to your blog.Young people in this house look at facebook and i don’t want to erase you from my news feed.

I dumbly asked what reference they were talking about and received the answer “girlfriend girlfriend.”

Since I am definitely a Taurus and can never seem to let things go, after my astonished pause I parried back.

**Myself: Uh, I’m gay…that’s me…big and gay. I shouldn’t have to be hush hush about it.

**Supporter: don’t expect you to be , but there are places to express that and on very public facebook it is not mature to be constantly referencing your model of living.For most people these are private matters, not advertised, and this has nothing to do with who you are it is a matter of communication and what is appropriate for the public venue and what is not.

—> Are you seeing the connection to my “hypothetical” story?<—

Well let me just say that this made me rather irritated, keep in mind that this supporter is a novice to facebook and has had it less than a year.  Also, my supporter says “model of living” which in turn made me really steamed.

**Myself: It is not a model of living its a sexual orientation like any other. facebook is a friend networking site and the friends that I converse with are genuinely ok with me being gay. Heterosexual couples say the same things I say,there is also the fact that my blog posts on my facebook in order to gain more hits so there will be biggay posts no matter what. If there are people in the house that can’t deal with my being gay, erase me from your feed or don’t leave facebook on. As for young children seeing it, why is that a bad thing? You are acting like my being gay is a bad thing, like you are trying to hide it. What kind of message does that send kids? Maybe they should be exposed to homosexuals, perhaps there would be less bigotry and hypocrisy in the future generation.


After I sent that last message I didn’t receive word back.  Looking back now I wish that I had torn into them a bit more.  This really got me steamed and made me start thinking about all the fake support there is out there.  Personally, I think that if you don’t totally support me, don’t say you do.  Give me the truth, don’t sugar coat things.  They say they are our allies and they are all for change and equal rights yet they are not comfortable with us being OUT.  How does that work?  How is it possible to change the world in silence?  If we do not speak, then we are not heard and bigotry and oppression ensues.  It is a vicious cycle that needs to be broken by voices.  Silence enables our oppressors and makes our cause stagnant.

Local Organization-Kalamazoo

More fun facts! I was doing some fashion research and came across this website that had an article in it about OUTspoken at WMU.  I thought it would be fun to try to raise some awareness about this particular RSO. (Registered Student Organization) I personally think it looks like a blast and would love to be a part of it!

The WMU website locate below:

We homosexuals apparently want to ruin the meaning of marriage…

But what about this?

Found this article in my daily ramblings and I was like WTF?  Nearly all the die-hard individuals against gay marriage use the excuse that homosexual unions would ruin the sanctity of marriage.

However, what about all these heterosexual crazies that want to have their cake and eat it too?  “I want to be married but I want to do my own thing on the side at least 3 nights per week.”  Why bother getting married at all?!  Tell me how that does not ruin the sanctity of marriage?  I would just like to know… Somehow I feel like in your standard wedding script, one of the lines is “forsaking all others.” Hence the term, MONOGAMY!  Now granted, I don’t agree with some of the lines in wedding scripts for example the archaic ideas that Woman is supposed to be submissive to Man.  Its 2010 people, we are equal.  However, monogamy is the basis of marriage.

I feel like marriage between two people whom are in love and want to make a monogamous commitment to spend their lives together, is much less of a threat to the sanctity of marriage than unhappy hetero marriages that increase divorce rates and open marriages that blatantly go against marriage vows.