Big Gay Blog

9 Misconceptions about Lesbians

I found this article and really enjoyed reading it, for someone who hates being put into a box/stereotypes it is a nice refresher.  I wanted to answer the same questions the article touches on in my own words, I have dealt with a lot of the same issues and reading through someone elses experiences really made me chuckle, maybe it will do the same for you.

Lesbians Hate Men

I really don’t know anything that could be farther from the truth. Just because we are not interested in men sexually does not mean we hate them!  Personally, some of my best friends are guys and it works out great.  My best friend KP is a great example of this, as people who do not always feel to be terribly chatty KP and I will talk briefly about general life topics and maybe fill each other in on whats going on but we don’t always have to talk all the time in order to know we are friends.  Also, when it comes to needing to vent or advice on women issues KP is the first person I would go to and he always knows what to say to make me feel better.  Aside from my girlfriend and the truly chill girls (you know who you are) I almost would rather hang out with guys because I do not feel the need to edit myself when it comes to talking about girls or sex.

Being gay is easier than being straight because you are dating someone the same gender as you

This one really made me chuckle… Obviously being gay has its great points, having sex with someone who has the same equipment as myself has been much more enjoyable and easier to do. ex: I don’t have to pretend I am enjoying it because I actually am 😉 However when it comes to things like hormones, mood swings, periods and crying….Woah, I never understood why men were so weird about women crying until my girlfriend was one day.  Reality check! WTF do I do?! I felt useless and totally clueless… :/ And that whole period getting N’sync (haha) with other periods when you live on the same schedule…thats a bitch.  In a hetero relationship you only have to worry about moving sex and walking on eggshells around one period when there are two…I am surprised our house hasn’t burst into flames from the tension in the air!

There is always a “man” and a “woman” in lesbian relationships

Ugh, I really resent this one.  I mean yes I am the girl who wrote about being a lesbian Susie homemaker BUT my girlfriend has no problem helping out around the house. Also, regardless of looks we are BOTH pretty feminine.  I was talking to someone a few weeks ago at the laundry mat and commented that I couldn’t wait to get home to my fuzzy pink bathrobe, they replied that I didn’t look like the sort of girl who would have a fuzzy pink bathrobe. I did a double take and was like wtf? Anyone who really knows me, knows that I am exactly the sort of girl who enjoys fuzzy pink bathrobe’s and mile high heels, however, I don’t need to wear them all the time and I also enjoy things like chuck taylors and hoodies when I want to be comfy.  Both my girlfriend and I wear my fuzzy pink bathrobe (it is nice and toasty on those chilly days) and apparently she looks even less like a girl who would wear one than I do most days.  Even though a generalizing asshole would label my girlfriend the “man” I beg to differ, that girl spends more time on her hair and eyebrows than I care to take with myself, she loves shoes (not heels) and checks with me that she looks good before we go out somewhere.  Sounds pretty Fem to me.

Lesbians have Daddy issues or were sexually abused as kids

Good grief, I don’t feel like I have Daddy issues.  My Dad is the shit! No really, he is super cool, I can talk to that man about anything.  Maybe the statistics of women who have had issues and who are also lesbians are higher but I don’t feel that there is a direct correlation.  You love who you love and that is that.

If you are a lesbian you have never had a meaningful relationship or been in love with a man

Pshaw.  That is really silly and one of the hardest to convince people of because many think your sexual orientation is a choice.  I however have had a four-year relationship with guy, we were quite in love and I still love him, as a friend.  I have had multiple boyfriends and a quite a few sexcapades concerning guys and you know what? It just didn’t cut it.  I am just not sexually attracted to guys.  Simply put, the cock did not do it for me and no matter how much I loved someone it is not worth shorting myself and my needs.  Also, though I was in love with my four-year relationship boyfriend the depth of my feelings cannot even compare to the depth of my feelings for my girlfriend which is the most important factor. 🙂

Lesbians get committed really fast and don’t cheat

Funny, I have met quite a few lesbians that just want to play the field and be commitment free.  My own relationship went pretty slow at the beginning. Prior to being with me, my own girlfriend enjoyed playing the field and hadn’t had terribly long relationships.

Women who like women — especially bisexual chicks — are just dying to take part in your threesome.

Hmm, now I will not deny that I have thought about a threesome.  When it comes right down to the wire though, I am happy with the person I am with, no others needed.  I really would not feel comfortable with anyone else (male or female) touching her as intimately as I do and from talking to her about it she feels the same.  One of the biggest arguments out now against gay marriage is the question of monogamy and whether or not homosexuals can commit to a monogamous relationship.  I am definitely one that can, I have found the person I want to be with for life and cannot imagine being with someone other than her.

Lesbians don’t wear lingerie

Well shit, then I better go trash my drawer full of it.  I have underwear galore as well as ridiculous frilly things that I like to wear on special occasions.  The thing that separates my girlfriend and I from a hetero relationship?  My girlfriend thinks I look sexy in anything, she knows that lacy lingerie is not the most realistic thing to wear and appreciates when I do wear it but doesn’t consider it necessary.

It’s just a phase

*Sigh* I could say that about dating boys!  Saying it is just a phase is one of the most insulting things I feel that you can say to a homosexual.  I mean I would not say that to any of my straight friends.  The reality is that, the people that say this are heterosexual and cannot fathom being otherwise.  They simply do not understand the concept of sexual orientation and the fact that there can be more than one.

Note* Here is the original article if you would like to glance through it.

Also, Any gay boys out there? I would love your comments on any of these stereotypes because they can/are applied to you as well!


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  1. * nobadee says:

    I’ve seen this article before. It’s completely ridiculous and all of it’s points aren’t just non-credible, they make absolutely no sense from the stand point of a mental health professional.

    Let’s take the part about the daddy issues for example. The author automatically jumps on an over hyped defensive in an attempt to make this “stereotype” sound outrageous; but, the truth of the matter is that this “stereotype” is based not only individual experiences with lesbians; but, there is also massive amounts of recent research done on homosexuals that backs this up. What is implied by the statement that Lesbians have daddy issues is that they did not receive the proper amount of affection that a normal child would have received during their up bringing by having both parents around. Maybe their father wasn’t around due to work or maybe he was just emotionally detached from that one child(this is common with lots of parents especially if there is more than one child in the family).

    Assuming they meant that they were molested by some masculine male figure right off the bat actually raises some concerns now that I analyze your statements a little further. To this date I have never counseled on a case with a woman, who leaned more to women for sexual encounters, that did not have some level of resentment towards their father. Sure, they still go to family BBQ’s and such with them; but, when you see them in the same room together you can clearly see some tension building.

    I could shred this entire article with data; but, I’m sure you get the main idea from that little bit. People tend to not see a problem when they aren’t actually looking for one and we all like to assume we are perfect the way we are; but, in the real world delusions can only take you so far.

    Before I leave, a fact based on extensive research. Lesbians, often times, have up to 10 times more male partners than a heterosexual female. Try to argue your way out of that one with irrational analogies.

    | Reply Posted 7 years ago
  2. * Q says:

    i think all women should spend some time being gay, then they would understand what us men deal with. LOL it is just stupid to stereo type and couple strait or gay, people are who they some may fit a stereo type in some ways but not in other. listen if people would do as i do and live by the 3 l’s the world would a better place. the 3 l’s are LIVE LAUGH AND LOVE. just my opion

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 4 months ago
  3. * dave says:

    oh yes. lesbians abhor me. so much that they make delicious chocolate cakes to bring to my parties.

    they hate me something awful, they do.

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 4 months ago
  4. * Big Gay Blog says:

    That is ridiculous! I know your Dad and just like mine he wouldn’t hurt a fly. We come from good homes, with solid morals and ethics and no background of abuse. We are apparently an exception lol. That was one thing that killed me on the NARTH website…so dumb.

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 4 months ago
  5. * katie says:

    I think the worst is the daddy issues.
    Ya know, I have had multiple people come up to me, and ask me if I have every been raped, or sexually abused.
    Like, really?
    I had one person who wouldn’t believe i was telling the truth.

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 4 months ago

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