Big Gay Blog

Dude looks like a lady

I am going to switch from barring of a sex entirely to generalization within a certain sexual orientation. Namely Lesbians. I don’t even know where to start in counting how many times people have told me I don’t “look the part” or something to that effect. If I had a nickel for how many times friends of mine or I hear some variation of that I would be beyond rich.

To start with I hate generalizations period. However, these sorts of comments happen to be very tiresome because they are made by people that knew me when I was “straight,” who have crushes/hit on me, or are just completely ignorant. The straight world looking at lesbians thinks they are either Butch or the less common Lipsticks. More often than not Butch is the idea of lesbians that is framed in their mind. In short, I think this whole concept is complete shit. I mean if we are going by popular generalizations I should be chopping my hair and donning flannel and boy jeans. The less common generalization being Lipsticks, would have me being ultra feminine all the time, and trust me I am over those high maintenance days. I really feel like there should be a happy medium somewhere in here! I don’t consider myself Butch or Lipstick, I have characteristics of both but I am stuck somewhere in neutral land…

Another facet of this is that many people are of the opinion that being a lesbian makes you less of a woman because you are not conforming to societies or the churches standards. This is a silly idea, if anything I think that being a lesbian and taking the steps to be “out” and comfortable in your sexuality make you more of a woman than the closed off, confused and often times vapid creatures that society sets it standards by. The strong lesbians of the world are a wonderful example that many of us would do well to follow. Now don’t get me wrong I am not saying attempt to push yourself to be gay. If you are straight that’s great for you. Its merely what they stand for, femininity, strength, awareness of self etc. (Insert other various descriptive terms) They embody everything that women are admired for and more, being that they are truly comfortable with themselves and think openly and freely.


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  1. * Big Gay Blog says:

    Being yourself is the most important part and you are definitely not the only one out there. I know there are many with the struggle that you face. Being yourself and being comfortable in that are your first major steps and I feel that they are also very often the most rewarding ones. Stay strong!

    Elisabeth S. Paquet
    aka: biggayblog 🙂

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 5 months ago
  2. * kym says:

    Dear Tiffany and the writer of this entry, Thank you. Words don’t do justice to how relieved I feel when reading your entries. I realize then that I am not alone. And that I can breathe and continue just being me.

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 5 months ago
  3. * Tiffany Keshick says:

    I am in total agreement. There are so many gay men and women in the world that are far better people then the straight and narrow people out there. These people think that just because the gay are different, they are to be feared, talked down to, and even in the olden days beaten to death. They couldnt be more wrong. Just because someone dosnt fit in with the general crowd dosnt make them bad and horrible. To the contrary i believe that most of the gays that i know are incredible. They stand by their word, they are kind to others, and they are far more understanding of difference than the average joe. As a bisexual woman i have had my share of glares and looks of disgust from people that find out about it, so i know how hard it is. And its even harder for the full gay people of the world. There have even been people that tell me that if i try hard enough that i can get over my sexuality?! I think that those people are full of shit. You love whom you love and that is final.

    | Reply Posted 8 years, 5 months ago

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